


BoggleRonpa

by Strigentine



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, King of the Hill
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Fan Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:00:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27549481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strigentine/pseuds/Strigentine
Summary: i shitpost jon its what i do
Kudos: 1





	BoggleRonpa

Smoke swirled on the linoleum floors of Tom Landry Academy’s gymnasium. It coiled slowly on the floor like miniature tornadoes ravishing everything in their way. Gloom hung in the air. There was an electricity that prickled at the hair of the survivor’s arms. Something horrible was on its way. The monochrome bear stood perfectly still in its stance. Its face was unchanging and yet there was a distinct determination. He was letting out a groan of effort as the smoke continued filling

“Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooh…” he groaned. Monokuma was beginning to tremble and shake. All at once he was swallowed by the smoke and all that remained of him was a red glow which too was eventually smothered by the oppressive coils.

“What’s goin’ on, sug’?”

“I think I’m about to suffocate. Some kind of… non-clean burning fuel! I can’t breathe.”

And then all at once the smoke dispersed with an explosion. The blast cleared the trial grounds and Monokuma had been replaced. Where once had stood mechanical bear paws now stood a loafer. Size sixteen and a half.

“Yeah!”

“Peg! What’s goin’ on here, where’s the mastermind?”

“Oh, Hank. You’re looking at her.” Peggy extended her arms as smoke began to fill back at the center, slowly descending to knee level. There was an all-engulfing insanity swirling in Peggy’s eyes that threatened to gobble up all they saw were they not secured behind her glasses. A disproportionate smug grin creased Peggy’s face with malicious intent.

“No, no way, that’s wrong! You tell me what the meaning of this is right now. There’s no way the Peggy I know would do this to her friends, family, and neighbors, I tell you what. The Peggy I know believes in the hope of community values and teaching a new generation the joy of Spanish. She’d never make people kill each other.”

“Well, Hank, that’s where you’re wrong. See, I’m not the Peggy you knew. You thought you knew Peggy but you didn’t even know jack. I’ve been reborn, Hank. Born again in the baptizing waters of despair, mhm.”

“You would blaspheme at me? Your husband? What did I do?”

“Well, Mr. Ultimate Propane Salesman. It’s no secret that my talent is the Ultimate Substitute Teacher, but that’s not enough. My talent is wasted on those kids when I could be so much more, Hank. Someone with my kind of drive and superior intellect can’t be sidelined. You wouldn’t bench your best quarterback and hold back the team just so the runt could play would you?”

“Now don’t you bring football into this despair hibberty-jibberty! Sports is about teamwork, Peg. You can’t have members on the team who don’t do anything. Why even have them on the team? You got to win with teamwork and practice. If a player can’t improve then you cut them. But you don’t just give someone a free ride on a team either!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, Hank. I’m bored of wherever this metaphor was going now. It’s not like football matters anymore.”  
“What do you mean, Mrs. Hill?” Connie asked, only just now catching up to her emotions.

“Oh, good question, Connie! All of the teams were executed. They don’t exist anymore. Not the Longhorns, not the Cowboys, not even the Saints or the Huskers. Poof. Gone. Eliminated by a world that has given in to despair. Propane might be an efficient and clean-burning fuel, Hank, but despair is much more flammable. Despair catches on anything no matter how damp. It’s a renewable resource too. All you need is hope and before you know it, despair is burning up your steaks. It’s now the universal fuel of the world and it’s burning whole buildings down. All of ‘em except for Tom Landry Academy. I wanted to save it for our little game.”

“Game?! Have you lost it, sug’? This was all just a game to you? Boomhauer… what happened to Bill… It was just a game?”

“Yup, mhm. And I wasn’t the only coach in this game. I had a man on the inside. The man who died wasn’t Rusty Shackleford. It was Dale hiding among you!”

“No, sug’! No!”

“I didn’t expect John Redcorn to try and stage a coup like that, but why cry over collateral damage?”

“He was your accomplice and you just… killed him?”

“Doesn’t that fill you with despair, Nancy? Your husband and your lover both killed with the same punishment. I guess the Ultimate News Anchor can’t tell the weather anymore. Couldn’t predict that dark cloud over your head staining your cheeks with tears, ho-yeah! Now then, esta todos preper-aid por un mass class trial and voting time?”

Peggy had Hank… it was his constitutional right as an American to vote. And he would vote to end this… wouldn’t he?

**Author's Note:**

> shes king of the hell now


End file.
